Thursday 31 July 2008

The Catholic in me (4)

For those who are members of churches where baptism is conferred in infancy, Confirmation is a declaration that promises made on their behalf when they were baptised are now understood and willingly reaffirmed by themselves. It also signifies both their desire for and their acceptance of full recognition and participation in the Christian community.
In effect, it is a public announcement of one’s faith: standing up and saying to the community, ‘I am a Christian; and now that I am old enough to understand what that means, I make my own the promises made for me at my baptism, and I pray that the Holy Spirit will fill me, empower me and enable me to live my life as one of Christ’s true disciples.’
Being mature enough to do this and to understand the significance of what one is saying is essential for this to have any real meaning.
The sacrament itself is always filled with power and meaning: The Holy Spirit will burn and urge within, but without a similar and pre-existing fire in one’s will and a readiness to respond to the prompting of the Spirit, spiritual life can so easily fade into the shadows. That is not where we are meant to be, and Confirmation should enable us to more readily bring ourselves and our faith far from those shadows and into the light.

I know that within today’s broad sweep of Christianity, my own experience has confirmed me as a Catholic, but I do not actually experience my confirmation in that limited and differentiating way. I sense and feel that I am confirmed only as a Christian, as what Jesus called His followers to be. The Catholic Church, of which I am a part, is, for me, the closest representation there is of the Church founded by Jesus: Christ’s Church: The Christian Church. The link with the Apostles and the first calls to spread the gospel is least stretched and fragmented in her unbroken presence on Earth. All other denominations have arisen out of separation from that presence and from the inevitable and continuing fragmentation this has spawned.
Because of that fragmentation, there are times when it is necessary for a Catholic in today’s world to be specific about the Church into which she or he has been baptised and confirmed. For anyone outside the Catholic Church, professing to be a Christian does not lack the specifics of unbroken allegiance to Christ’s founding instructions as it does for one within it. It is in this way that, while feeling confirmed in general as a Christian, I am definitely and specifically baptised and confirmed as a Catholic.

My own sometimes unsettled feelings about Confirmation are born of a permanent discomfort over the timing of the sacrament in young people’s lives. When is someone old enough to understand? And what do we mean when we use that word ‘understand’?
The Annual Parish Meeting I attended some time ago included discussion around the need for inclusion of our young people in the life of the parish, and I suggested that those confirmed over the last few years might be asked what they themselves wanted or needed from the parish.
My suggestion was prompted by the notable numbers of young people preparing for the Sacrament of Confirmation, but as well as being a serious proposal in the context of the discussion, it was made to see if anyone other than myself had doubts as to the validity of any encouragement we might derive from those numbers. There were no expressions of such encouragement or doubt.
The numbers appear to be very encouraging but this is due to the fact that Confirmation, and preparation for it, is linked to the schools; the children reach a certain age, a certain class, and their school year leads them into Confirmation. This can do little for the Church other than enable communities to relax more deeply into complacency. A false picture is created, giving rise to time and energy being wasted on asking the wrong questions. I believe one of the right questions is whether the present arrangements for Confirmation really create the best chance of resulting in a confirmed faith at all.
It seems that Confirmation is regarded more as something to be done to our children while they are still a captive audience than something towards which they should be gently encouraged without any undue sense of urgency or external pressure.

Every increase in our understanding places us where we could not have previously been, and this continues throughout our lives. Where is the point at which we comprehend our faith sufficiently to declare it and work for Christ’s Church in mature and meaningful ways? For each one of us it is where and when we recognize it, and following any laid down pattern or timetable fails to take this into account. The greatest risk is that going through the accepted motions will leave individuals thinking they have finally completed the necessary stages regardless of where they actually are in their journey of faith.

The following statements from the Catechism of the Catholic Church conjure a worrying mix of premature and enforced obligation laced with inappropriate expectations based on a person having reached a developmental stage that may merely bring recognition of the difference between right and wrong.
1285 '...by the sacrament of Confirmation, [the baptized] are ... more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith by word and deed.'
1306 '... Since Baptism, Confirmation, and Eucharist form a unity, it follows that "the faithful are obliged to receive this sacrament at the appropriate time,"
1307 'The Latin tradition gives "the age of discretion" as the reference point for receiving Confirmation.'
Each one of us has to travel beyond that point into the deeper understanding of our own sinfulness and potential before we can begin to grasp what Jesus has done for us, and eventually stand up to declare that truly, ‘I am a Christian’.

The following add-on, or coverall, (also from the Catechism), does not carry any weight other than perhaps to quieten voices that may question as I have now done. An underlying reluctance to accept utterances from all others proud enough to think they speak as the voice of Christ’s Church is not to be dispelled by anything that creates hints of unwarranted guilt or self-doubt.
1308 'Although Confirmation is sometimes called the "sacrament of Christian maturity," we must not confuse adult faith with the adult age of natural growth, nor forget that the baptismal grace is a grace of free, unmerited election and does not need "ratification" to become effective. ... Age of body does not determine age of soul. Even in childhood man can attain spiritual maturity: ...'

Maturity is built upon previous degrees of maturity in the same way that understanding becomes more perfect by building upon itself.
Both provide confirmation of what has gone before.
Confirmation, and the proclamation it demands, is for when the time is right.


Sunday 20 July 2008

Loosely bound


I still have difficulty trying to grasp the shape of what it is that I believe.
I attempt to sketch the outline in the hope that in so doing I may more clearly search within that form, but while my faith and my trust irresistibly deepen, what seems to be an increased clarity of understanding builds only upon, and reinforces the fact that I cannot comprehend that which I seek and follow and love. And yet, within my nebulous confusion, the constant awareness of a presence which is itself Peace, Truth and Life, both Giver and Sustainer of my existence, creates the calm and contentment in which I can smile back at perplexity: a much loved word, and the womb in which confusion coalesces from unfocussed nebula into the diamond hard seeds of truth.
My experience has confirmed me as a Christian, and today, though still without any hint of certainty, I know more surely than previously where I belong in Christ’s Church; uncertainty about what I should be doing within it and for it generates no feeling of contradiction within me.

A recurring idea or train of thought, a persistent disagreement, dissatisfaction or doubt, must point to some consistency of belief or failure to believe, and I take such apparent constants in my thoughts, emotions and reactions as start-points for trying to fill some of the gaps in my self knowledge. There are times, however, when I make a point of not following this through as I am fearful that the process will convince me that I do not agree with the teaching of the Church. At such times my refusal to acknowledge my instinctive beliefs is itself witness against me. I suspect there are many people who, whether admitting to it or not, share this failure to accept without question all teachings and traditions of the Church to which, nonetheless, they feel themselves unflinchingly bound.
For those outside the Church there is no doubt, no pricking or troubling of conscience, no reluctance to admit, no fear of division, separation or rejection, and the resultant clarity of thought allows anyone who may have half-looked at the Christian churches to see their own disagreements and non-acceptance in straightforward black and white. The result of this, combined with any belief that the Church is irrelevant in today’s world, offers no real answers for the questions in people’s minds, and is comprised of people who call themselves Christians but who are no different and no better than anyone else, is that they find no reason to approach: no reason to find out if their pre-conceived ideas are right or not. They find no confirmation one way or the other.

But there is another side to this non-acceptance and this inner witness to non-compliance.
Does the Church really need only those who keep their heads down, accepting everything without question, keeping the outside of things looking intact, wholesome, innocent and pious, maintaining the inherited and projected image regardless of all changes in society as though arrogantly believing that they possess the entire truth, and that society will eventually have to turn back to the Church? Most certainly it does not. It does need people who, while having due regard for the appearance of things, value the reality of the society in which we live, and the realities of peoples’ lives, hopes and fears. It needs thinking people of real faith who will question and learn, and in their turn answer and teach: people who will share their certainties and their doubts within the tighter bonds of Christian community. It is in this unity, within the Body of Christ’s Church, that we receive our real confirmation and both receive and give the affirmation we all need.

A sense of belonging is at the heart of the experience of being a Christian. The initial understanding of that fact – being part of a supportive group of similarly minded individuals, on a global scale, and down through parish and otherwise local communities, to small intimate groups of close spiritual friends – is valuable and valid, but the belonging goes further than that. Being a Christian places us amid not only the living global community of Christians, but numbers us and names us in the litany of every human being who has ever lived their claim to be a Christian. The Body of Christ, His Church, is the community of all believers.
And at the opposite end of the numbers scale, it ends where in fact it truly begins: within ourselves. When we find ourselves alone, without any form of human support from within that community, we still belong to it, and we must hope to become aware of the truth behind our collective sense of belonging: that each one of us belongs to Christ; He has claimed us as His own, not ‘en masse’ as what we see and feel as the Church, but individually: He has claimed you, and He has claimed me. We each belong to Him.

In the apparent looseness of our bindings He holds us fast. What more profound gift can we receive?
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Friday 18 July 2008

A reason to belong

Spiritual self-sufficiency is acquired through experience.
It matters not what form that experience may take, as any, from the most beautiful to the most horrific, the most exceptional to the most ordinary and apparently insignificant, has its place in the moulding process which accompanies our spiritual journeying. Without this process our journey would become a repetitive circle of routine or an unaccompanied and futile wandering far from the path prepared for us; in effect it would be no journey at all. Our steps would fade into a blurred greyness to compliment or replace the familiar gloom of uninspired daily living or the hollow echoes of a habitual church attendance devoid of any real spiritual life.

In F. F. Bruce’s words, being ‘self-sufficient in (one’s) religious life, or at least ... self-sufficient when circumstances require’, is not possible without the capacity for being content in any situation. The total ‘dependence on the Christ who lives within’ that powered and empowered St Paul is conceived in faith and born of the experience which grows from that faith. In Paul’s own case it was an experience that brought about the initial change: sudden, overwhelming, transforming; the change irreversible. It brought the knowledge of who Jesus was: belief in Him but not the total dependence on Him. That grew as the heart of the moulding process that followed the opening of Paul's eyes to the truth; his experience of God’s ongoing work in and through him led him to that dependence, not as any form of sacrifice or challenge or obligation - though it was to involve all three - but as the most ‘natural’ and complete relationship in the world.

It is our openness to the Holy Spirit that will draw us towards and into the experiences that will transform us into our own self-sufficient and content selves. It is the ability to leave all else behind without any lessening of peace, and hope, and faith, which can lift us from the greyness of mediocrity; we remain within our normal spheres of work and social interaction, and church or other religious contact, but if we acquire or develop this ability we have already separated ourselves from the majority of people. We have yielded to the call to become more deeply spiritual men and women, and in that compliance our journey comes to life with an increasing awareness of who we are meant to be. Our self-sufficiency, our being content, far from leading to isolation or a selfish distancing of ourselves from the world around us, grounds us more firmly in the community. This, whether we enter a church building or not, plants us undeniably in Christ’s Church: we are confirmed as Christians, both in our consciences and in our consciousness. It plants us, but to receive the food and water required for growth and for eventual fruitfulness, we need to bring our Christianity (whether recognised as being such or not) to a place of acknowledgement, for the community in which we are now more firmly grounded, and also for ourselves. Our inner conviction should lead us to a need for confirmation from others: confirmation that we belong to and are part of the community of Christians which is Christ’s Church.

The welcoming in and confirmation are formalized through Baptism, the Eucharist and Confirmation, either as distinct stages or together, depending on whether a person be young child or adult. These rites are three facets of the same involvement and call to unity which expresses and satisfies our mutual needs for affirmation and belonging. We are baptised as Jesus was baptised by John the Baptist, but also with the gifts of the Holy Spirit; we share in the bread and wine as Jesus shared with His Apostles at the Last Supper; we are Confirmed as an awakening of our gifts and of our Spirit led witness to a maturing faith. We should long for the Holy Spirit to be manifested in our lives in ways that empower us just as the believers in the gathered community were empowered at Pentecost. This, above all, is why we should each find our way of truly becoming a living part of Christ’s Church; there is no genuine Christian life outside it.
We cannot be Christians and remain forever beyond reach, aloof and alone.

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Saturday 12 July 2008

The little things

It is the little things that disturb our peace, hold us back, and lead us to undervalue our own presence in the world. It is the distractions and annoyances, rather than our own mistakes, which more readily distance us from a calm and on-going awareness of our spiritual life: an awareness that, once found, we long to be able to maintain, to deepen, and to increasingly inhabit.
The unavoidable; the inconvenient; the unexpected; the obtrusive; the importunate; all interruptions and demands upon our attention and our time have a tendency to dismantle the hard-won peace we have been building within our hearts and minds. And when we have to endure a succession of such things, overlapping, and with some of them seemingly impossible to resolve, the distraction and annoyance are easily transformed into frustration and a disconcerting readiness to conjure and dwell upon a range of un-Christian thoughts and attitudes toward the world around us and the people we meet.
The exchanges between devils in C. S. Lewis’s book, The Screwtape Letters, include the passing on of this truth from the experienced senior devil to his junior: “… you will have noticed that nothing throws him into a passion so easily as to find a tract of time which he reckoned on having at his own disposal unexpectedly taken from him. It is the unexpected visitor (when he looked forward to a quiet evening), or the friend’s talkative wife (turning up when he looked forward to a tête-à-tête with the friend), that throw him out of gear.”

Our mistakes, and even any major falls we have during our journey, may bring our inner life to its knees and may generate turmoil and considerable anguish, but this is precisely because we are maintaining our spiritual awareness. Our fall deepens that awareness, and our feelings and thoughts cannot be separated from it. The anguish itself has the paradoxical capacity to lead us to a further deepening, not only of awareness, but of confidence in our worth in the mind of God.
The minor irritations do not carry that potential, but they have the power to keep us from realizing our own. It is the little things that keep from our consciousness that we each have a part to play in God’s plan, and thus ensure that we do not think to believe and act accordingly.

When our faith begins to take on real meaning for us – however this may come about – our awareness is increasingly filled with some aspect of it, and, no matter how frequently it is pushed aside by interruptions and other distractions, it returns of its own accord. Our hope, and our aim, should be to reach the point where it barely leaves us at all, whatever the demands upon our attention and concentration. It is this undisturbed self-awareness and consciousness of the presence of God: the following of Christ within, and reliance on His Holy Spirit’s guidance in all things, that forms the bedrock of a life lived in peace and truth.
F. F. Bruce, referring to mysticism in relation to St Paul’s life, wrote, ‘... it is probably true that the mystic, as commonly conceived, tends to be self-sufficient in his religious life, or at least can well be self-sufficient when circumstances require. He may be gregarious and friendly; he may attach high importance to life in society, but he does not depend on it for his religious sustenance. Paul insisted on the common life in the body of Christ, in which the members were interrelated and interdependent, each making a personal contribution to the good of the others and of the whole; yet, when necessity so dictated, he could maintain his spiritual existence apart from external aids, human or material. “I have learned the secret of being content (autarkēs)”, he says, “in whatever state of life I am” (Philippians 4:11). Yet this autarkeia is not Stoic self-sufficiency: it is so complete a dependence on the Christ who lives within him that all else is, by comparison, expendable ...’ (Paul: Apostle of the Free Spirit. F. F. Bruce.)
This brings St John of the Cross to mind, with his reference to, “…a commonly quoted spiritual adage which says: ‘Gustato spiritu, desipit omnis caro.’

… After the taste and sweetness of the spirit have been experienced, everything carnal is insipid.”
Ascent of Mount Carmel. (II:XVII)


Lord Jesus, we open ourselves to you;
we open ourselves to the undeniable touch of the Holy Spirit in our lives:
the touch by which we learn the tastelessness of all that beckons us into the world.
Live within us this day and every day,
making your presence inseparable from the living of our lives.
While strengthening and teaching us for your service,
enable us to learn the secret of being content in all things.

About Me

Who I am should be, and should remain, of little consequence to you. Who you are is what matters; who you are meant to be is what should matter most to you. In coming closer to my own true self, I have gradually been filled with the near inexpressible: I have simply become "brim full", and my words to you are drawn from those uttered within myself, as part of an undeniable overflowing that brings a smile to my every dusk, and to my every new dawn.
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