Thursday, 21 December 2006

The growth of awareness

How does one articulate an awareness that has grown from nothing, and has seemingly come from nowhere; an awareness that brings with it the beginnings of a knowledge that it has indeed come from somewhere: from an indefinable source that somehow beckons within us?

I heard of God during my childhood. My early years were enveloped in an undoubted and secure atmosphere of trust in a God I heard much about, knew little of, but whose existence and presence I never thought to doubt. The sun shone, the rain rained, the darkness came, and the dawn always – but always – came.
I heard of God, and, without knowing it, I heard from God.

It is only in this budding awareness that I am enabled to say that: only from my present vantage-point that I know He was always there, and that He continues to lead me whenever I am willing to be led, and, rather than leaving me to my own mistakes, He tracks me whenever I leave the path He has prepared for me.

It is through this process shadowing our lives that black and white first begins to blur into shades of grey. It is through the continuation of this same process that the shades of grey revert towards black and white once more; the dividing line between the two narrowing down to what is frequently experienced as a frighteningly thin screen: an almost non-existent separation between two opposites that vie for supremacy in every aspect of a sometimes anguished conscience.

This is where we can meet our truth; this is where the edge awaits our strength or our weakness, our
success or our failure, our acceptance or our rejection. This is where we either turn and run, or shut our minds in a pretence that will never admit to having been there.
Or shall we strive to take our place among the few?
Will we stand, and battle to take our place within the power of the Spirit? - the power that holds and empowers God's people? - the power available to all who are willing to become as lights in the darkness of today's world?
Will we dare to approach and linger at the edge?

About Me

Who I am should be, and should remain, of little consequence to you. Who you are is what matters; who you are meant to be is what should matter most to you. In coming closer to my own true self, I have gradually been filled with the near inexpressible: I have simply become "brim full", and my words to you are drawn from those uttered within myself, as part of an undeniable overflowing that brings a smile to my every dusk, and to my every new dawn.
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