'Words flow out of what fills the heart.’
A heart that is full cannot fail to find some way of bringing its fullness to expression, whether that be through a naturally generated and unthinking attitude to life and the world, or through a leaking out of emotion, the increasing pressure of which refuses to be contained within anything corresponding to the self. Both give expression to the underlying mindset and the moral, social, ethical and spiritual values of the individual, but whereas the former will, in some way and to a greater or lesser extent, colour not only words but thoughts and actions in all circumstances, the latter may produce a similar reaction and outcome but infrequently, unexpectedly and seeming randomly in even the smallest of situations. The one makes it impossible to hide whatever truly rules one’s life in spite of occasional strong feelings that seem to witness in an opposite direction; the other makes it impossible to contain an expanding compulsion to say or to do something, even when this may be contrary to all the ingrained and accustomed traits of the person’s character.
Examples of the former would be people who are truly humble, and those who are blindly arrogant. Those whose lives are based on a notable degree of goodness or of badness are unable to disguise their true colours other than fleetingly. Unless we live in the impossibly narrow ‘no-man’s land’ that is a perfect balance between the two – and such a compromise can never be regarded as good – we should be aware of our inclusion in this group, but, to the degree that is appropriate to each of us, most of us are also examples of the latter. It is our fundamental goodness or badness that, however well we have managed to keep it under wraps, will at some point become un-containable: it will burst free from the confines of our heart.
A perfect balance between good and evil could be mistakenly sensed and experienced as a state of calm, of quiet and of peace. In its withstanding of the pressures, temptations and inclinations to allow a natural drift towards an unquestioned response to our animal tendencies, it could be proclaimed as a victory of spirit over nature, of true humanity - as shown to us in its perfect form by Jesus Himself - over mere animality, a conquest of good over evil. This is one of many self-deceptions into which we may be led by our reliance upon our senses and our interpretations of experience.
Such a balance, if it exists at all, is fleeting: it is impossible to maintain. If we find ourselves in such a state the calm is unreal; the quiet and the apparent peace offer no contentment and no safety from darkness and fear. The balance is maintained only by a tension that constantly strains its tethers to the limit, stretching them so taut that the stillness in which we find ourselves agonizes on the verge of tearing itself asunder; the impossibility of sustaining the tension destroys all peace even while we believe it to exist. We cannot occupy such a place; it is truly a ‘no-man’s land’: a place where no person belongs, where there is no place for either side, where even life and death cannot be as they are meant to be.
To briefly find oneself in such a place is not to be at the edge in any meaningful and potentially edifying way; it is to perch dangerously on the knife edge of a ridge with no possibility of prolonged survival without falling to one side or the other. As soon as a tendency in one direction or the other makes itself known, we are gone. Compassion, anger, frustration, grief, joy, longing, desire, fear, hatred, love ... something triggers an undeniable inner response and we speak, or we act: we are unable to resist an honest response to our compulsion.
The perfection of human life shown to us by Jesus is not a compromise that results in evil being immobilized and merely held at bay; it is a blossoming of goodness that bears fruit in the complete neutering and disarming of badness. It is a conquest of all that tries to undermine the goodness that lies within each of us: it does not destroy evil but rises above it in a way that enables us to stride easily and confidently over what had once appeared to be insurmountable barriers.
A heart that is full cannot fail to find some way of bringing its fullness to expression, whether that be through a naturally generated and unthinking attitude to life and the world, or through a leaking out of emotion, the increasing pressure of which refuses to be contained within anything corresponding to the self. Both give expression to the underlying mindset and the moral, social, ethical and spiritual values of the individual, but whereas the former will, in some way and to a greater or lesser extent, colour not only words but thoughts and actions in all circumstances, the latter may produce a similar reaction and outcome but infrequently, unexpectedly and seeming randomly in even the smallest of situations. The one makes it impossible to hide whatever truly rules one’s life in spite of occasional strong feelings that seem to witness in an opposite direction; the other makes it impossible to contain an expanding compulsion to say or to do something, even when this may be contrary to all the ingrained and accustomed traits of the person’s character.
Examples of the former would be people who are truly humble, and those who are blindly arrogant. Those whose lives are based on a notable degree of goodness or of badness are unable to disguise their true colours other than fleetingly. Unless we live in the impossibly narrow ‘no-man’s land’ that is a perfect balance between the two – and such a compromise can never be regarded as good – we should be aware of our inclusion in this group, but, to the degree that is appropriate to each of us, most of us are also examples of the latter. It is our fundamental goodness or badness that, however well we have managed to keep it under wraps, will at some point become un-containable: it will burst free from the confines of our heart.
A perfect balance between good and evil could be mistakenly sensed and experienced as a state of calm, of quiet and of peace. In its withstanding of the pressures, temptations and inclinations to allow a natural drift towards an unquestioned response to our animal tendencies, it could be proclaimed as a victory of spirit over nature, of true humanity - as shown to us in its perfect form by Jesus Himself - over mere animality, a conquest of good over evil. This is one of many self-deceptions into which we may be led by our reliance upon our senses and our interpretations of experience.
Such a balance, if it exists at all, is fleeting: it is impossible to maintain. If we find ourselves in such a state the calm is unreal; the quiet and the apparent peace offer no contentment and no safety from darkness and fear. The balance is maintained only by a tension that constantly strains its tethers to the limit, stretching them so taut that the stillness in which we find ourselves agonizes on the verge of tearing itself asunder; the impossibility of sustaining the tension destroys all peace even while we believe it to exist. We cannot occupy such a place; it is truly a ‘no-man’s land’: a place where no person belongs, where there is no place for either side, where even life and death cannot be as they are meant to be.
To briefly find oneself in such a place is not to be at the edge in any meaningful and potentially edifying way; it is to perch dangerously on the knife edge of a ridge with no possibility of prolonged survival without falling to one side or the other. As soon as a tendency in one direction or the other makes itself known, we are gone. Compassion, anger, frustration, grief, joy, longing, desire, fear, hatred, love ... something triggers an undeniable inner response and we speak, or we act: we are unable to resist an honest response to our compulsion.
The perfection of human life shown to us by Jesus is not a compromise that results in evil being immobilized and merely held at bay; it is a blossoming of goodness that bears fruit in the complete neutering and disarming of badness. It is a conquest of all that tries to undermine the goodness that lies within each of us: it does not destroy evil but rises above it in a way that enables us to stride easily and confidently over what had once appeared to be insurmountable barriers.
The balance then is not what we seek: it is not our aim.
We are called to be ourselves, and in following that call we are led towards becoming the persons we were made to be.
We are called to goodness and into the light, to stand as beacons above the entanglements of our shadowy world.
We are called to goodness and into the light, to stand as beacons above the entanglements of our shadowy world.
We are called to respond to the fullness of our hearts: to speak out and act in accordance with whatever guidance we may receive.
We will know that prompting when it comes. It will be impossible to deny.
“For I am full of words
and forced to speak by a spirit within me;
within me, it feels like new wine seeking a vent,
bursting out of new wine-skins.
To gain relief, I must speak,
I must open my lips and reply.”
(Job 32:18-20)
