Tuesday 11 November 2008

Within limits

We have come so far and yet we have barely begun.
That occasional thought: that random awareness, regardless of our levels of understanding or realization of its meaning, or its value to our awakening consciousness, is something of which we all have an inbuilt need. As a species we have become a truly global phenomenon – as we were meant to be – but in spite of our easily acquired impressions that we are at the height of our powers, we have only recently begun to awaken to our place within the vastness of creation; indeed we have only just begun to appreciate the vastness itself. We are born to become not merely global but a universal phenomenon.

Within the sum total of our knowledge, mankind is remarkable; and as our knowledge continues to expand into the presently unimaginable, we shall reveal to ourselves that we are forever remarkable. Ultimately we shall reach a point where we can progress no further without an astonished and humbling acknowledgement that we have need of revelation from beyond ourselves. The final and complete knowledge of our existence can only be revealed to us from beyond our limitations.
The glory of mankind is seen by many as being that we are without limitations: that we have no limit other than our own capacity for perseverance, our desire to know, our adventurous spirit and our daring. The fact that we perceive no boundaries to our place and our belonging is one of the wonders of the human race, but today, as from the very beginning, our presumptuousness overrides the central powerhouse of our consciousness: the seed of our remarkable presence within Earth’s creative bloom: the heart of our phenomenal existence within eternity’s whispers. It overrides conscience.

The wisdom that first conveyed mankind’s reach beyond the stability and safety of his limitations in the story of the Garden of Eden, is still expressed and ignored today. That garden with its one faint echo of something else, something more, something beyond, something illicit but irresistible – what harm can it do? The first vague thought that led to a dwelling on the possibility, the probability and then the seeming inevitability of the hand reaching out; that first touch; the daring to pluck the fruit from its bough; the apple held, desired, retained and possessed – that single bite; the juice, the taste, the knowing. The apple: the apple of the tree: the tree of the knowledge: the knowledge of that which was not to be part of mankind’s relationship with creation and Creator. The knowledge of having gone beyond; of having gone awry; of having attempted to bypass the life-support system with which we had been blessed, by a guessed at short-cut to knowing what we had no reason to ever imagine, let alone experience as a downgraded form of existence. The knowledge of having separated ourselves from our natural integrity and from our supernatural unity. Mankind has been misfiring ever since.

Each one of us lives through this same situation every day, hidden in the realities of our own individual lives with their unseen ebb and flow of virtues and vice; their tangle of confused sorrow and tears, comfort and joy; the give and take of day-to-day loves, hates, injustices and hesitations over our own desires and cares, and the needs of others. And throughout the entire ongoing mêlée, the conscience is either brushed aside, or its discomforting prompts are felt and cringed at only until buried deep beneath the piles of muffling exterior sounds we pile upon them.

Any idea that we differ from the people around us: that we are not like them: that we are better than them – as believed the Pharisee at prayer, ‘I thank you, God, that I am not grasping, unjust, adulterous like everyone else ...’ (Luke 18:11) – must be banished as soon as it surfaces. We are the sinner we see in others, and it is our separation that allows us to ignore the reflection of ourselves that confronts us every day in other people’s weaknesses. Our continued willingness, even preference, to remain apart is our way of ensuring that we do not have to confront our hidden shame. We fear the unavoidable meeting with our conscience that we sense to be part and parcel of our moving closer to one another, and if our well constructed barriers begin to weaken we dare not risk that meeting; we know we shall be unable to stand in the inevitable light without breaking utterly. Deep within, we know well that we have not built our lives upon rock, and we want no part of anything that hints at reminding us, let alone something that shows the promise of transformation with all the self-recognition that would entail.

‘Some people have put conscience aside and wrecked their faith in consequence.’ (1 Timothy 1:19)

The truth about ourselves is partly buried by our desire to maintain our image, not necessarily projected, but quietly slotted into place over time by our being regularly seen and superficially known by those around us. We fear accusations of hypocrisy even if we find ourselves unable to imagine being hypocrites; we sense that others will quickly fill that gap, and if we have any particular regrets or unforgettable reasons for feelings of shame, we fear these being brought into the open and we remain inconspicuous, on the fringes of the Church, or even completely outside the Christian community. Having found fault in our lives people will find it easy to doubt everything we say; how can our faith and our gifts be recognized and bear fruit in such a situation? Even without such debilitating concerns the deep-seated need to maintain one’s image can still extend the silence, even among long-standing church members.
It needs all of us to build a worthwhile community: those whose experience and gifts demand that they take their share of responsibility, those who need their support, and all those between the two who shun responsibility but feel no particular need for anything from others. Needed as much as these are all those on the fringes and beyond who are looking in and wondering whether they could, whether they should, and whether they dare.
‘No believer can stand back and say “I have nothing to contribute”.’ (David Pytches. Come Holy Spirit.)

A powerful sense of belonging should underpin all family life. The Church is both family and home, and we should all feel the welcome and the belonging that should thrive within her folds; there are no limitations to either of these.
If their edges are clearly defined there is much work to be done.
If there is no belonging, then Christ is not in it; it is not the Church.
.

About Me

Who I am should be, and should remain, of little consequence to you. Who you are is what matters; who you are meant to be is what should matter most to you. In coming closer to my own true self, I have gradually been filled with the near inexpressible: I have simply become "brim full", and my words to you are drawn from those uttered within myself, as part of an undeniable overflowing that brings a smile to my every dusk, and to my every new dawn.
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