The question (looking ahead) of whether or not to turn up for a talk, or (looking back) whether or not I should have turned up for it, has become an example of the moments of which I have been writing. It has become a mental notch on my stick: a proverbial knot on the cord which is my belt. It has the makings of becoming a definite marker beside my footprints in the sand, and, if I follow it through, and if it bears fruit, it may become a clearly visible milestone among the more durable imprints of my passing.
Since my failure to attend the talk at the Malvern Evangelical Church, I have found their website, and have been listening to some of the past sermons available there. This has drawn me still further towards a conviction that I should at least visit them for one of their services. The recorded sermons have provided me with something for which I have been longing for a long time, but which I have been unable to access easily; namely preaching and teaching that blesses me with both affirmation and inspiration, and is not bound by liturgical constraints, traditional forms, and hierarchical aspects of dominance and non-equality. They have conveyed an unspoken but inherent welcome to my place in their midst, and in the fellowship of other Christians of all denominations. It is a fellowship born of discipleship and community: two of the gifts conceived in the Word of God, and made available through the essential lack of any Godless hype and hysteria, and dubious financial aspects of so much tele-evangelism style preaching.
I happily place here a link to their website http://www.mecmalvern.org.uk
Since my failure to attend the talk at the Malvern Evangelical Church, I have found their website, and have been listening to some of the past sermons available there. This has drawn me still further towards a conviction that I should at least visit them for one of their services. The recorded sermons have provided me with something for which I have been longing for a long time, but which I have been unable to access easily; namely preaching and teaching that blesses me with both affirmation and inspiration, and is not bound by liturgical constraints, traditional forms, and hierarchical aspects of dominance and non-equality. They have conveyed an unspoken but inherent welcome to my place in their midst, and in the fellowship of other Christians of all denominations. It is a fellowship born of discipleship and community: two of the gifts conceived in the Word of God, and made available through the essential lack of any Godless hype and hysteria, and dubious financial aspects of so much tele-evangelism style preaching.
I happily place here a link to their website http://www.mecmalvern.org.uk
Nothing big, nothing flash, nothing false, nothing proud. Something simple, straightforward, honest and true. Something which offers what we all want and need: the power, and the quiet; the relevance and the intimacy of the Word of God touching our own lives and hearts. Though I have yet to set foot inside the building, I also suggest that if you live anywhere near Malvern, and are searching for somewhere where you may safely and fruitfully dare to admit to your persistent longing to learn about Jesus and all that He offers to us, this may be the place you are looking for.
Certainly I do not mean to deter anyone from approaching any other churches, least of all Roman Catholic ones. I am a Catholic, and nothing will ever alter that fact, but I am very conscious of the gulf that appears to exist between so many ‘traditional’ style churches – of whatever denomination – and the everyday twenty-first century lives of the majority of people in our Western World. My longing is for you to develop a living relationship with the reality of Jesus in your life: for you to become a Christian in more than name, and to discover for yourself the life-changing effects of that relationship. When your life has been transformed; that is the time (if there is to be such a time) to give thought to the differences and the relative truths of the many denominations. Hopefully it will also become a time when you are aware of the long-running agony and shame which is our lack of Christian unity.
My instincts, and my limited experience, suggest that the jewels are more likely to be found in a form that can be clenched tightly in the unyielding grasp of a faith-filled hand, than as something glaring, and too large to enable friends to be recognized within the same room. Here, almost on my doorstep, having been there all the time but having now been brought to my attention for reasons unknown, is what may well be one of those jewels. I pray that it may be so for anyone who finds themselves led there for the first time. Perhaps we shall meet there.
I may already have delayed for too long to give or receive whatever was available on that particular day. There may have been something specific for me; a touch, a word, a meeting, a realization, a revelation. Or there may have been something similar which I was to bring as God’s provision for somebody else. But the moment has come and gone. I hesitated and I delayed; I feared and I failed.
But the door has not closed. The cold draughts of doubt and shunned responsibility have blown it towards closing a couple of times, but Jesus has placed himself in the doorway, holding it open; waiting.
He will do the same for you, but in this instance He waits for me. He holds it open for me. He will remain there for as long as it takes, for me.
Oh, my dear Friend: my Love: my Lord; You know me so very well !
I am going to be away from here again for a while; physically this time.
In a few days I shall be doing something very unusual for me; I hope to be boarding a plane to the west coast of Canada.
But nobody will hold the door open for me while I think about it. Nobody will wait for me. I shall either respond to the moment without delay, and be transported to an unknown place, unknown people, and forms of beauty and truth which are new to me, or I shall find myself left behind, wondering what might have been. If I step through that door, the stirrings I shall hear and feel will be of other breezes, in other trees; the waves, which may gently lap or wildly crash upon my shore, will be from another ocean: one I had never previously thought to see.
But the stirrings and guidance already within my heart can never be left behind. – I thank you, God, for that.
But the stirrings and guidance already within my heart can never be left behind. – I thank you, God, for that.
‘If I speed away on the wings of the dawn,
if I dwell beyond the ocean,
even there your hand will be guiding me,
your right hand holding me fast.’
(Psalms 139:9-10)
