Friday, 26 January 2007


Are you comfortable?

I have become aware that my apprehension and doubt, my unease and discomfort at beginning to give voice to my thoughts has subsided. I have so easily and quickly become accustomed to writing here. I am comfortable with it.

No sooner had I realized my comfort, than I became aware that I should not be so comfortable.
This very comfort is generating its own lack of ease. I feel the beginnings of a pressure to produce: to ensure that not too many days pass before posting something new here; the start of what could become a growing preoccupation with updating, and with a semi-forced production of thoughts and words: - a precarious position again. (16th January post)
Hints of self-satisfaction have also made themselves known, and they too are bringing with them a whole new set of doubts and discomforts.

All this reminds me of something I know well enough, but of which I shall always need constant reminders: that there will always, always, always be struggles and trials, temptations and distractions trying to divert us from the paths we are meant to tread.
Once we are no longer content to sit quietly with whatever faith or belief we may have: once we wake up, stand up, and speak up, we are confronted by a power that would have us forever subdued and silenced.
If it cannot prevent us from waking up in the first place, it will keep us firmly in our place.
If it cannot keep us from standing up, it will keep our mouths firmly shut.
If it cannot keep us from speaking up, it will confront us with our weaknesses – those we thought we had under control - seeking to drag us down and thus to silence us through our shame, or to devalue all we say and do in the minds of others whom it will lead to judge, reject and condemn us.
If it also fails in this, it will continually distract us; it will lead us to speak or act on the wrong things, in the wrong ways, or for the wrong reasons.
Vanity and pride will rise to envelop and sterilize our attempts to bring others to the Truth.

A certain comfort in what we do is of benefit to that which is done.
If we are blessed, and we use our blessings as God would wish, that comfort is itself a further blessing: an awareness of His presence and love in all that we do, which arms us with the confidence to persevere regardless of perceived difficulties.
As soon as it begins to feel like a ‘sit back and smile’ comfort, we are in danger of holding the blessings off with an unrecognized darkness that would have us defy and deny God.

Are you comfortable?
Wake up! Arise!
Allow disquiet to heighten your awareness: awareness of those around you who are in great need of the comfort you have within you to give. Seek to bring that comfort to others, and through such comfort, an awareness, an awakening, a sense of God’s presence.
In moving towards the edge on your own journey, you will encounter needs you are able to satisfy: people in need of what you already have to give.
God will litter your path with opportunity; will you know it?
Will you recognize the need? Will you recognize and accept your ability to be God’s servant in such situations? – even though you thought you had barely come to believe at all?
We are tested every step of the way: gently and quietly at first, but steadily building the faith, the conviction, and the power within us.

Do you seek comfort in being a follower of Jesus?
Do you long for His friendship and His love?
I have already suggested who you may be as such a follower: who you may become if you have not yet set out in His footsteps.
Do you find it impossible to identify with any of these?

The Named, The Touched, The Grasped, The Held, The Embraced, The Lifted, The Carried, The Moulded, The Filled, The Empowered, The Directed, The Sent? - The Forgiven, The Sheltered, The Comforted, The Emptied?

If you do not regard yourself as a follower – for whatever reason – and yet, having read what has gone before, still find yourself reading this, then you truly are already one of His followers.
You may be carefully making sure He never sees you, and hanging well back from His friends.
You may even be unknown to those on the fringes of the gathering around Him: unseen by everyone remotely associated with Him.
But you are following nonetheless; and He knows you are there.
He longs for your approach.
Stepping towards the outer fringes of the crowd may seem to involve an enormous effort: an act of faith which you do not have, but that step towards Him, once started, will be as easy as is your next breath.
He will look up to see you coming as soon as you move.
He knows you are there.

Let Him transform you from your present state, whoever or whatever you believe yourself to be: -

The Confused, The Depressed, The Unappreciated, The Ignored, The Overlooked, The Rejected, The Discarded, The Alienated, The Deprived, The Denied, The Deserted, The Forgotten, The Unwelcome, The Lonely, The Lost, The Stranger, The Weak, The Frail, The Humiliated, The Belittled, The Mocked, The Scorned, The Slandered, The Hated, The Threatened, The Bullied, The Silenced, The Burdened, The Hardened, The Blunted, The Sorrowful, The Grief stricken, The Angry, The Fearful, The Terrified, The Addicted, The Cursed, The Possessed, The Tortured, The Trapped, The Caged, The Imprisoned, The Trampled, The Crumpled, The Crumbled, The Crushed, The Abused, The Beaten, The Broken, The Mutilated, The Crippled, …

Each of us has at some time been at least half of these; and more … and wherever we may now be on our journeys, we can be confident that we have always had – and always shall have - one thing in common: we are all sinners.
I am a sinner.
He searched for me as a sinner, and accepted me as a sinner.
He filled me to the brim as a sinner, and while acknowledging always that I am a sinner, I am joyful in the knowledge that He has found me and given me rest.
I have become what He longs for you to become; what your inner self longs to become - one of The Found.

Step towards Him.
”Seek and you shall find,” - and in your seeking He will find you.

In His presence is the comfort you seek.

About Me

Who I am should be, and should remain, of little consequence to you. Who you are is what matters; who you are meant to be is what should matter most to you. In coming closer to my own true self, I have gradually been filled with the near inexpressible: I have simply become "brim full", and my words to you are drawn from those uttered within myself, as part of an undeniable overflowing that brings a smile to my every dusk, and to my every new dawn.
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