Thursday, 26 July 2007

Reawakened


I have just been reawakened to a half-forgotten reality: to a lamp, the light from which had grown so dim that I had almost entirely forgotten it. I have been shocked back into an awareness of how important it is that such lamps should never be allowed to grow dim, and what has shocked me most is not the pornographic content of what suddenly appeared before me at one innocent click on the mouse, but the fact that I had allowed myself to become so forgetful of the fact that such things exist, that they are so easily available, and that, as well as the market for such things being so great, there are so many people who actively promote the availability and normalization of their unrestrained, abnormal and unhealthy attitudes towards intimacy in general, and sex in particular.
Privacy, respect, restraint and love are words that have little meaning in their worlds, and ‘conscience’ and ‘shame’ have none at all.
This is a dangerous place in which to be, and I have been reminded of why I do not casually browse through the web sites and blogs, and of why I am here in the midst of it all.

When I first began writing here I had to ask myself why I was doing it; I was drawn into something I had no clear or logical reason for wanting to become a part of, but I arrived here, and, almost without knowing what I was going to do, I began to write. And here I am still.
If I ever slide into a long-term feeling of futility, that nobody is gaining anything from what I have to say, or even a belief that no one is reading it anyway, I hope I shall have the sense to stop; but so long as I continue to feel filled to the brim, and overflowing with something that is worth sharing with others, I shall continue to draw words out of myself in the hope that – at least some of the time - I can separate the wheat from most of the chaff and put them into an order that speaks helpfully to them.

On 26th December, in ‘The right time and place’, I wrote the following: -

‘The reasons for being here are centred on the simple fact that the world of blogs is a reflection of the real world as it is today. The internet is exactly that, and is partly filled with much of the goodness we can imagine, produce, or hope for. It also contains much that is on a par with the realities of everyday living: the functional, the helpful, the necessary, as well as the useless, the superfluous, the merely attractive and the superficially desirable. It makes available to all, the immense forests of today’s marketplace, where both the supply and the demand are manufactured; where the driving force, in itself, is not one of evil, but where our own susceptibility and weakness result in the outcomes not always being good for ourselves and others. It also gives space and prominence to that which is entirely contrary to the goodness which resides in each one of us. The product of the blackest corners of our natures: corners which are also to be found in ourselves, and which can so easily be enticed to walk more freely in the broader expanses of our lives by those who give free rein to them. Everything we can conjure from our imagination, and much we could never have imagined, will be found waiting for us in what is not a virtual world, but a facsimile, a copy, an alluring shadow of the actual world in which we live. We may have to actively look for the worst of it, rather than finding it thrust upon us, but it is there.

“Seek and you shall find,” is frighteningly true in this world-wide web of availability.’

I have now experienced having it thrust upon me.
If I sense the work of those powers that constantly seek to draw us away from our journey towards our true selves and towards God, it is not in the incident that has awakened me, nor in its content; it is in the quiet and unobtrusive way I had been made to set my awareness of the dangers aside. The last thing Satan would have wanted was to have me jolted back into alertness instead of sidelined from my belief in his existence and my hatred of his insinuating ways. He would subdue, subject and seduce everyone who strives for goodness in this world. Those who appear to work for him and with him are of no interest to him; they are already his. And yet, for each one of them, there is still hope.

Jeremiah says, (4:3) “Clear the ground that lies neglected, do not sow among thorns.”
To walk among such people in a direct attempt to bring Jesus into their lives would be to cast pearls straight into the mud where they would be trampled; it would be to sow among those thorns. But under that tangled and twisted growth, the ground is still fertile. It may be grossly polluted rather than simply neglected, but their potential still lives.

Unlikely though it may seem, some may even read this. Among the words I have just written is ‘sex’; (and that’s twice.)
Anyone searching the internet for anything including the word ‘sex, (three times), now has one more (albeit extremely remote) angle on it that may appear unexpectedly on their screens.
The same principle applies to all addictions, and all drugs: heroin etc., alcohol, sex … (four times).

To anyone who may have landed here by that unlikely route, and who may have read this far, you are truly welcome! Your first question, perhaps, should be: What caused me to begin reading?
We are all friends here, and we would value your companionship as we share our journeys. You may not believe it (yet) but you have something of great value and we wish to share your blessings. They are not lost, nothing is lost; they are buried very deep, but the neglected ground can still be cleared.

May the Spirit that guided you here, find a welcome within you.

Come, walk with us for a while.
.

About Me

Who I am should be, and should remain, of little consequence to you. Who you are is what matters; who you are meant to be is what should matter most to you. In coming closer to my own true self, I have gradually been filled with the near inexpressible: I have simply become "brim full", and my words to you are drawn from those uttered within myself, as part of an undeniable overflowing that brings a smile to my every dusk, and to my every new dawn.
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